Stories and Songs of Randomness

Stories and Songs of Randomness tend to pop up from time to time. This is the collection from the IRC logs.

If you are adding an entry, be sure to add who told it at the end of the section with a tilde (~) and the person's name (ex. ~ Rahky).

Note: Some of these entries may have been edited for spelling mistakes.

The Tale of the Disco Ball Overlord
Once upon a time, a disco ball was born. It swore to make people happy by taking away their eyes and leaving them to dance for all eternity. It met some cotton candy and decided to kill it.

So, the cotton candy was dead but it's pals, the shaping-shifting guitars of hellish fiery fire, refused to let it die. They banded together and decided to blind the disco ball even more than it had to the cotton candy,. A war began between the cotton candy supporters and the disco balls of eye-hands.

The disco ball continued to shine brightly, confusing people and taking their eyes to add to his treasure trove on a far-off planet. The cotton candy brigade had enough and decided to finish the war once and for all. With many people armed with armor made out of glass, bones, and fire, they marched on to the disco ball's keep. They charged towards the disco ball, ripping out an organ of their choice to toss at the Disco Ball Overlord. In an explosion of guts and fire, the shaping-shifting guitars of hellish fiery fire had their chance and took it. They opened the gates of Hell and unleashed the fdjad. It's name is too horrifying to utter, but the five letters alone were known to make the strongest man puke up his internal organs.

The toxins from the event were such that every living thing would die within a hundred thousand miles of the victim. Fdjad rushed the Disco Ball Overlord, not giving the blinding abomination pause to recover. It was then that the shaping-shifting guitars of hellish fiery fire knew that they had one last task. They united with fdjad, becoming the most imposing thing to have ever been seen.

Due to many people having been victims of the eye-gathering disco ball, none knew what form the team of salvation had taken. However horrible the battle was with screams wrenching forth that would rival and best the demons for the deepest depths of Hell, the final clash left the universe to gasp in awe at the glorious disintegrating flash of glory that drowned all with its brilliance.

It destroyed the Disco Ball Overlord and the combination of fdjad and the shaping-shifting guitars of hellish fiery fire, but it also decimated what was left of humanity. The order of the universe and time itself would not be restored until trillions of years later.

/fin

(Version 2.48)

~SmashQueen

The Temple and the Pigeons
I studied abroad in Japan this past summer. So, in Kyoto, I went to this temple, and there were pigeons. EVERYWHERE. Pigeons, as far as the eye could see. Pigeons all over the courtyard. It was spectacular. They even sold us pigeon food for around ￥100 per bag out front.

For the trip, I had this thing around my neck to carry my ID and passport and whatnot around. So, there we were, on the temple grounds. There were maybe three or four of us goofing around, all covered in pigeon. We were even naming them, it was like catching an army of Pidgey and nicknaming them all just for the sake of confusiong. There was Fred, and Jack, and Diaper.. And Phil...

I miss Diaper. Diaper was cool. Only problem is, he hated me.

Eventually, one of the little fellers is flailing around near my chest. I look down and try to move away, but it's still flapping around, half-attached to my shirt.

I then realize, the poor thing's got its wing tangled up in the string.

I remove the carrying thing and try to get the pigeon free - NOPE, bastard starts flying away. With my ID dangling directly below it. Eventually, the poor little guy tired out, descended, and I wrangled my stuff free, and thankfully the pigeon was fine.

But, thanks to that little experience, I can now say that I was nearly robbed of my own identity by a bird. In front of a Japanese temple.

And there were witnesses.

The end

~ Rahky

Attention...
"The chair recognizes the gentleman from a galaxy far far away."

Solemn, professional silence.

A solitary man stands up, out of place in this stuffy room of pomp, circumstance, and procedure.

But well aware of the burden borne upon his shoulders, the weight of legislative authority pressing down hard upon his amphibious shoulders.

He summons his all of his courage and delivers the message for which he has traveled distances beyond most human comprehension:

"IT'S A TARP!"

His revelation disseminated, he returns to his seat, all the while the image of poise.

~ UberTaco

We of the U.S.S. Because Ground...
We of the U.S.S. Because Ground are of the only sane men (and women). Mostly. While the tides of confusion and SERIOUS BUSINESS sweep others away, we watch from our anti-Creeper fortress several stories above which is conveniently accessible via links from the fiery grounds of the ARG. The fires were started by one "Jadusable" and ever since they have been spread.

The lucky ones hang on the sidelines, or deep in the fray. Wherever they might be needed. With calm demeanor, they wait.

And then... Well. http://tinypaste.com/78f2d

Like I said. We're of the only sane men (and women). Mostly.

~ SmashQueen

Peelzy
♪ Peelz, peelz, peelz, oh haaappy peelz-peelz-peelz ♪

♪ Peelzy is my friend, Up un-til the veery end ♪

♪ Which is why I sing aloud, Up and down the streets out loud ♪

♪ It's Peelzyyy and meeeee ♪

/fin

Special thanks: Rahky, Caffeine, Salad, Bacon, Candy, Peelz, Pidgin

~ SmashQueen

Michy Michy Soda Pop
♪Michy michy soda pop. Drink it up, drink it up. ♪

♪ Michy michy soda pop. Drink until the bubbles stop. ♪

♪ Michy michy soda pop! It's good stuff, drink it up. ♪

~ SmashQueen

Spin On a Dime
Rhythm, rhyme, they spin on a dime. Try to beat my feats and be defeated as I scr-scr-scratch on the fast path to be your match.

You can't beat me, can't see me, can't feel the real waves as I save my best from the rest. Crave my beats, crave my rhythm 'cause you're in MY system and the caves are echoin' in this maze of time where rhythm and rhyme spin on a dime.

~ Mix Master Smashy Q.