Prophecies

Several prophecies have recently come to light and as such have gained enough attention to obtain an article. Whether or not these prophecies are true, false, or the deluded ideas created in a normal evening for Because Ground, they will be archived here.

Cerxi, Malevolent yet Eco-Friendly
2026: Cerxi's plan to rule the globe finally comes to fruition, through the addition of cybernetic components to his brain tissue. Smash begs to be his evil queen, but he will shun her, preferring to dictate alone.

Construction begins on twelve floating cities, each capable of supporting a mere thousand people; only the best and brightest of humankind will survive. The remainder is to be culled.

2027: Seriously ill, and realizing his control is slipping, Cerxi appoints three secret lieutenants. These, each diabolical leaders in their own right, are given control of one third of Earth's landmass. These areas are codenamed Bunny Sector (the Americas), Kitten Sector (Africa and Europe), and Puppy Sector (Asia and Australia).

Antarctica is reserved for the automated construction of the floating cities. Any attempts at entry are met with immediate lethal force.

2028: Cerxi's illness claims his life, leaving a power vacuum. Bunny Boss and Kitten Kommander force their populace to do battle for supremacy, while Puppy President bides her time, preferring to pick off the victor while they are weakened.

2030: Slaving in a secret laboratory deep within the moon, Cerxi's scientists have resurrected his mind, having taken a perfect three-dimensional image at the moment of death and constructing a heretofore unheard of multidimensional quantum computing device to simulate neural activity. He is now a sentient computer, with nigh-infinite capabilities.

Bunny Boss, Kitten Kommander, and Puppy President are brought under control, and disciplined for their actions.

Work begins on a targeted pathogen to scour the surface of mankind, while leaving other life untouched.

2032: The pathogen is perfected. Capable of remaining airborne for weeks, living on surfaces for months, and utilizing nearly all plants and animals as carriers for years, it will only affect humans. Once contracted, it simultaneously forces the release of a burst of endorphins, causes all muscles to go limp, and slowly shuts down brain activity; death is painless, like gently slipping into a peaceful sleep, from which there is no awakening. It is 100% fatal within hours. It is named The Lullaby.

2036: After a decade of work, the floating cities are complete. They are deployed, and robotic enforcers begin the long process of herding the chosen population on board; two cities to each continent.

2037: The cities loaded and airborne, The Lullaby is deployed globally via automated drones. The only survivors on the surface are those in sealed underground dwellings, from which they cannot safely emerge for decades.

A large swarm of robots pour out of Antarctica, reducing the abandoned cities to their component rubble, and beginning the work of revitalizing the Earth's surface, reversing the damage caused by mankind's long reign.

Screaming Hippos
This is the song that will pierce the will of Xanatos! Thus will the Era of Screaming Hippos be ushered in! The Prickly Pear Revolution will not be televised! It will be morse coded! And the fall of ash will give rise to the Everlasting Radiance of the Barnacles of Toe! And the screeching of many cobblestone pickers will be the aria to the dark lord of Bleach and Salt as he descends as the Male Seahorse!

QUACK!!

Requited at Last! - Rep <3 Ori
May 29th, 2011: Rep and Oritzer announce their undying love.

August 4th, 2011: Rep and Oritzer are joined in holy matrimony.

Why won't he love me? - SmashQueen <3 Cerxi
April 12th, 2011 SmashQueen realizes the previously double-unrequited love between her and Cerxi is slowly blossoming in her heart. Cerxi, meanwhile, notices nothing, and continues to tease her.

2011-2026 Smash will continue to fall deeper in love with Cerxi, but he'll never return the feelings, and thus she silently wastes away, a shadow of her former self.

September 9th, 2026 Pitying the once-vibrant girl, Cerxi offers her a place in his hierarchy, as the Minister of Silly Voices. She accepts, simply to be close to him.

Global Domination of Superior Tacos Corp.
????: Brothers Taco will open a chain restaurant that will become popular the world over.

2017: Minitaco will hire an assassin to take out his older brother and become sole owner of the chain. This leads people to suspect that Minitaco was all along behind the plan to take his brother out, but as there is not enough evidence, Minitaco will go free, and continues to work on growing Superior Tacos -franchise.

2021: First fast food company established in the moon. Superior Tacos Corp. is at top of it's game.

Kemical
2100: Kem is still an 11 year old girl.

2200: Kem is still an 11 year old girl.

2300: Kem is still an 11 year old girl.

2400: Kem is still an 11 year old girl.

2500: Kem is still an 11 year old girl.

2600: Kem is still an 11 year old girl.

2700: Kem is still an 11 year old girl.

2800: Kem is still an 11 year old girl.

2900: Kem is still an 11 year old girl.

3000: Kem celebrates his 12th birthday.